Say Goodbye to Shame with Your Own Touch…
The fire burned softly, creating a warm light across the room. After a long day, a long week ( maybe even a lifetime) I felt tired of competing with the clock , juggling everyones emotions and needs, and not sure why but I surrendered to things falling apart for a moment, and instead of organising the lunchboxes, putting on one more wash and cleaning the kitchen after dinner - I just didn’t.
My soul was calling me to drop into the present moment, my body was going to take me there.
Sensuality is not
just
about physical pleasure
-
it’s about being alive
in your body.
My hands rested on my belly, and for the first time in a long time, I started to feel my body, fully present with all my senses, my touch keeping me anchored to my body.
As I sat there in this moment that felt like time had stopped , something came up. A tightness. A feeling I couldn’t put a name to. It wasn’t physical pain, but a heaviness, like my body was carrying something I hadn’t made time to notice. I’d been so busy—giving, doing, thinking—that I hadn’t been feeling.
That moment by the fire was a turning point. It reminded me that my body needed me. Not just to keep going, but to stop. To listen.
To reconnect. And in that stillness, I found a path back to myself—a path of softness, sensuality, and healing.
The Weight We Hold in Our Bodies
As women, we carry so much in our bodies—emotions, stress, unspoken pain. It often gathers in the sacral space, the area just below our belly. This is where we hold our creativity, our sensuality, and our joy. But it’s also where we store tension, guilt, and trauma.
Touching my body, guided me to where the shame and trauma was , and I became aware that I have been carrying this, disconnecting from my body, seeing it as something that ‘does’ and ‘gives’ only.
There was no receiving.
This brought me back…
Growing up, I was the girl who was “Siempre en las nubes” (“living in the clouds”) , “Colgada"‘ ( “distracted”) and “naive”.
I was a feel-er but learned very early to not show it - I kept it all in and unconsciously started to control my needs by ignoring them and transmuting them into pleasing others, as the eldest of 7 and a twin - We were caring for the young ones, and always being the good girls.
My whole childhood was about caring for my siblings, helping and supporting mum around the house and making sure I would serve my dad like a king when he would show up (another story for another day) .
No body forced me to take on this role, I took it on unconsciously.
My internal world was open, expansive, non-judgmental , creative, and with no boundaries ,but growing uo up with comments, listening subtle ways people around me attached shame to things I felt where part of me, I was curious about energy and my Catholic upbringing never made sense to me, as a teen I already learned that Sensuality wasn’t something to celebrate—it was something to hide.Purity was glorified and sensuality was something we hide.
I learned quickly to tone myself down, to pull myself in. If I wore something that showed too much skin my dad would make sure I changed, and it was always met with judgment. My curiosity about the world, about myself, was turned into something shameful. My body started to be sexualised before I was ready , I started to recognise
that there is power there but by then I internalised the message that my body wasn’t mine to explore, to enjoy, or to feel at home in.
At 17 my body was for two things, to please my boyfriend and the be the cozy home to “shame” .
I had the most beautiful first love experience, and didn’t experience any trauma there, we were two kids loving each other and experiencing love for the first time.
Now I can see that my inner dialogue was that my body wasn’t mine, because that’s what I grew up with, others -mostly men making sure they express the standard
women should have.
Isn’t this what it means to give our power away? I never considered what I wanted
The amazing thing is, even if we suppress ourselves, the body still remembers its magic.
The body holds on to everything—the joy we were told to dim, the curiosity we were told to burry , the wisdom we were told to ignore.
but it also holds onto the pain and shame.
It’s funny, isn’t it? That our body knows and yet or mind bypass it entirely to keep us safe and comfortable ?
I am in awe of the wisdom our body holds onto.
For years, I lived in my head, doing everything “right,” staying busy, being a good girl, giving. But my body?
It sat quietly, waiting for me to come back.
In my 20-s I started to heal whith the pregnancy of my first child, pregnancy connected me to my sacred energy of creation, my body was showing me the inmense power it has: creating life.Motherhood was starting to activate my Sacral power.
Don/t get me wrong, I had healthy intimacy throughout my relationships , yet unconsciously my intention was always - pleasing.To please others,
To make others feel good, To make other feel loved.To heal them.
Rediscovering Sensuality
It wasn’t until that moment in front of the fireplace that I started to slow down, I began to feel again and became aware of this narrative after years of doing inner work ,
this was yet another layer that I had to release .
When you’ve been disconnected from your body for so long, reconnecting can feel raw, even overwhelming.
But little by little, I began to listen. To soften. To let my senses guide me back to myself.
Sensuality is not just about physical pleasure—it’s about being alive in your body.
Being in my sensuality now feels like this:
• The warmth of the fire on my skin, grounding me in the moment.
• The feel of soft fabric on my body, reminding me of my own tenderness.
• The smell of Palo Santo, awakening something deep and ancient within me.
• The rhythm of music that stirs my hips to move without thought or plan.
• The taste of honey on my tongue, reminding me of the beauty in small pleasures.
It’s about feeling.
Feeling the present moment.
Feeling your body’s wisdom and energy.
Feeling what it’s like to truly be connected to yourself.
Every woman has the right to be at home in her body. To feel her own sensuality, free from shame.
To honor the wisdom of her senses. It’s not something we need to earn or deserve—it’s ours by birthright.
But we’re so often taught the opposite. We’re told to keep our emotions in check, to hide our sensuality, to view our bodies as something to fix, perfect, or control.
We’re taught to live in our heads, to bypass the messy, beautiful, powerful experience of being in a body.
This disconnection is a wound so many of us carry. But the beautiful thing about the body is that it’s patient. It waits. It holds space for us to return, no matter how long we’ve been away.
The senses are the key to this return. They bring us out of our minds and into the present moment, reminding us of the aliveness we carry within us.
Here’s how you can begin reconnecting:
Touch:
Rest your hands on your belly, your hips, or your thighs. Feel the warmth of your own skin, the strength of your body. Let your touch be soft, curious, and free of judgment.
Sight:
Surround yourself with beauty that feels inviting—a candle’s glow, the curve of a flower, your own reflection in the mirror. Look at yourself with the same admiration you’d give a work of art.
Smell:
Use scents that stir something in you. Lavender for calm, jasmine for sensuality, citrus for energy. Inhale deeply and let the fragrance fill your body.
Sound:
Play music that makes your body want to move. Close your eyes and let the rhythm guide you. Even the sound of wind or of your own breath can awaken something deep.
Taste:
Let yourself fully experience the texture, the flavor, the pleasure of tasting. This simple act can be deeply grounding.
When we reconnect with our bodies, we tap into a wisdom that’s always been there.
Your body knows when it needs rest, when it craves movement, when it needs to release emotion. It knows the joy of simply being alive.
For me, rediscovering this connection has been a reclamation of everything I was told to suppress.
My sensuality isn’t too much—it’s my power.
My curiosity isn’t dangerous—it’s my guide.
My body isn’t something to control—it’s my home.
You deserve to come back. To feel. To sense. To reclaim the vibrant, radiant energy that has always been yours.
If you’ve been taught to dim your light, to hide your sensuality, to disconnect from your body,
I want you to know this: you can come back.
by the fire. Place your hands on your belly. Breathe deeply. And let your body remind you—it’s been waiting for you all along.
Thank you for reading so far, thank you for opening to find new ways so you can fully step into your authentic self .
Mucho Amor and Stay Radiant,
P.S If you want support in your journey join our RADIANT REVOLUTION in THE RADIANT FEMME MEMBERSHIP or join my next Live Radiant online event - check our next one here
