To The Women Holding it All Together(Or Trying To)
I see you.
I see how much you give much you bend, stretch,
& twist to make sure everyone else is taken care of.
I see the way you say yes, even when your body is screaming no.
I see how you’re always the one who’s flexible, who adjusts to everyone else’s schedules,
who makes room for everyone else’s needs.
And I see the fear, the fear of speaking your truth,
of saying what you really feel, of asking for what
you truly need.
I see how you stay quiet, not because you don’t care, but because you care so deeply that you don’t want to upset anyone or risk losing the people you love.
You forgive so easily. You have a patience that is a gift—an incredible strength. But when it’s used wrongly, it becomes your weakness. You let things go when they should be confronted. You stay silent when your heart is asking you to speak. You stretch yourself thin because it feels easier to adjust than to set a boundary.
I know this, because I’ve been there too.
In 2018,The Universe didn’t have a choice then to add me extra into my full already demanding life..
My lurcher, Lily, had been skinned by one of our other dogs and needed vet care three times a week.
That meant early morning drop-offs and evening pick-ups.
I was doing school runs for five kids across three different schools, cooking breakfast and dinner for seven people, feeding animals, a yard with seven horses, five dogs, chickens, and a duck, plus a cat.
On top of this, I was managing my business, trying to stay healthy, and taking care of myself, while teaching five yoga classes a week at my first yoga studio,
“Maria Josefina Yoga.”
I had already been on a path to recovery from back pain, focusing on managing my injury with strength training instead of overexertion.
However, after six months of operating my business, I found myself letting go of that strength training, leading to what I can only describe as the worst sciatica pain that persisted for seven long months, day and night.
In this time,I kept saying yes to everyone else's needs. I adjusted my schedule, bending and reshaping my life to accommodate them.
But the accumulation of demands left me emotionally exhausted .
My back pain was intense, making me feel like I was losing myself with every movement. Only my two sisters understood how tough it was for me.
As the oldest of seven, I was used to handling responsibilities alone. My students noticed my pain, which embarrassed me as a yoga teacher.
Despite this, I never took a day off; I felt stuck in a routine and unsure how to pause. The kids needed meals, school, and care.
Without family and limited emotional support, It felt like I was alone, feeling overwhelmed.
Sometimes, I would take five minutes in the car to cry from the pain, both emotional and physical.
I quickly composed myself to teach, grateful for my classes, students, and children. I refused to be seen as a victim, denying my need for help. "I am a mother" was my mantra, giving me strength. Deep down,
I was so afraid to share my feelings, so afraid to let down others.
I felt it was my only choice, neglecting my own needs.
I believed patience would resolve everything, but it didn't.
Eventually, I couldn’t keep going. My body forced me to stop. The pain, the exhaustion,it became impossible to ignore.
And so I dropped the basket.
Not gracefully. Not slowly. I ghosted everyone;friends, family, anyone who wasn’t part of my immediate priorities.
I shut down completely.
I stopped adding to my plate and let go of anything that wasn’t urgent.
It wasn’t the healthiest way to slow down, but it was the only way I could at the time.
As I began to heal physically, I turned inward and started doing shadow work.
The truth is, this wasn’t just bad luck or an unfortunate series of events. It was the universe forcing me to face the truth I’d been ignoring: I was doing too much.
For years, I had been saying yes to everything and everyone, putting myself last, and abandoning my own needs for the sake of others.
I thought that’s what love was. I thought that’s what being a good mom, partner, and friend looked like.
But my back pain, my exhaustion, and my overwhelm weren’t coincidences.
They were messages from my body, my intuition, and the universe, all trying to tell me that something needed to change.
I just wasn’t ready to listen.
After I stopped everything else, I started to focus inward.
I began shadow work, looking at the parts of myself I’d avoided for years and I started to see how much of my life was driven by control.
I had been holding onto everything so tightly, thinking that if I didn’t manage it all, it would fall apart. But in reality, I wasn’t holding it together.
I was breaking myself in the process.
I wasn’t trusting the universe, and I wasn’t trusting myself. I was trying to control every outcome, believing that was the only way to keep the peace.
It was there, in the quiet moments of reflection, that I began to see the patterns I’d been living with for years:
• I had been so afraid of speaking my truth that I stayed silent, even when it hurt me.
• I forgave too quickly, brushing things aside to keep the peace instead of addressing what needed to be healed.
• I had endless patience for others, to much. patience is not good.
• I said yes to everyone else because I was afraid to set boundaries and put myself first.
I realised that while these traits; patience, flexibility, forgiveness- are gifts, they can become harmful when used the wrong way.
They became ways for me to avoid conflict, to keep myself small, to keep others happy at my own expense.
Letting go of old habits was hard, and I still work on it daily. Over time, I learned to trust myself and feel my voice mattered.
I accepted that my needs are valid and that I don’t have to change myself to be loved. I started saying no and setting boundaries.
Speaking my truth became okay, even when it was tough.
It wasn’t easy; I faced six years of emotional challenges. A story for another day.
But even if it wasn’t easy, it was my truth , when we do things from our truth, as hard as they are they are aligned.
Perfection on the other side doesn’t feel purposeful…
Confronting my fears took courage and energy, and things did fall apart, which was necessary.
However, as I honored myself, life began to align in ways I never imagined.
If you’ve been carrying too much, saying yes too often, forgiving too easily, and staying quiet when you need to speak, I want you to know this:
It’s okay to stop. It’s okay to let go. It’s okay to speak up.
Your patience is a gift, but it’s not meant to be endless.
Your forgiveness is beautiful, but it’s not meant to be taken for granted.
Your flexibility is powerful, but it’s not meant to stretch you thin.
The universe doesn’t want you to abandon yourself for others.
It’s asking you to trust your voice, your intuition, and your worth.
So take a deep breath. Speak your truth. Trust that the universe and the people who truly love you—will honour it.
I send you all my love, truly: I see you…
Stay Radiant,
Josefina
